


just the way

by kngysng, theflyinganonymouse



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Epilepsy, Hurt/Comfort, Neurodiversity, Seizures, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25365859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kngysng/pseuds/kngysng, https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflyinganonymouse/pseuds/theflyinganonymouse
Summary: A collection of oneshots set in an AU where Mingi has ADHD and suffers from epilepsy.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a warning: the seizures are quite graphic so if that's something you think you can't handle then please don't read!!
> 
> other than that, enjoy~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by @theflyinganonymouse

They don't get enough sleep.

That is always the case but particularly so over the last few days as they prepare for their imminent comeback. Hongjoong feels like they've been on the move constantly - from interview to photoshoot to interview to variety show - in an endless loop. He thinks he would have lost track of what day it was if it weren't for Mingi's pill organiser. Making sure Mingi takes his pills every morning and evening feels like the only constant at the moment. He's glad to have something that keeps him grounded.

They don't get enough sleep but they should all be sleeping now so Hongjoong doesn't know why he's awake. He groans when he checks his phone. It's only a little after 3am- they've only been in bed a couple of hours and they have to be ready to leave again by 6am. Why is he awake? 

He lays there for a long moment and takes in the quiet sound of Seonghwa's even breathing from the bunk above and the steady ticking of the clock on the desk. There's another noise, too, coming from another room. Voices but not of any of the members- and was that an explosion?

It's the television, he realises.

_ Mingi. _

Hongjoong groans and drags himself out of bed, pulling his blankets with him. He should have expected this, he thinks. They've had a busy few days, of course Mingi is going to struggle to switch off and actually fall asleep.

Mingi immediately fumbles for the remote, a guilty look on his face, when Hongjoong shuffles into the living room. He quickly lowers the volume.

"I'm sorry." He says. He's cocooned in his own blankets and the light on his face from the television makes him look especially young. "I didn't realise it was so loud." 

Hongjoong doesn't say anything. He drops down onto the sofa next to Mingi and pulls his blankets close. It's cool out here in the living room.

"Are you mad?" Mingi asks. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"I'm not mad." Hongjoong tells him and it's true. It's not Mingi's fault his brain works the way it does and Hongjoong knows his ADHD medication doesn't help when it comes to sleep. "I'm just sad that we don't have enough time for you to take a pill and get some proper rest. We have to be up so early tomorrow." 

Mingi has pills that knock him out for eight or nine hours at a time but, with their schedules, he doesn't get the opportunity to use them as much as he should. It's a shame, really, and a dangerous game to play. Out of all of them, Mingi needs sleep the most. 

"It'll be okay." Mingi shrugs. He doesn't worry in the same way as Hongjoong. He's lived with this his whole life, after all.

Hongjoong pats his lap, "lay down. That might help."

Mingi complies without any fuss and settles his head in Hongjoong's lap, his eyes once again trained on the television screen. Hongjoong runs his fingers through Mingi's hair over and over and over and hopes the feeling is comforting and grounding enough to help Mingi's brain switch off. 

He doesn't notice his own eyes getting heavy or his hand coming to stop on the top of Mingi's head. He's asleep before he even realises it. 

It feels like only minutes later when he's being shook awake. He blinks rapidly, trying to get the figure in front of him to come into focus, and hisses when he moves his neck when he stretches. He's got a crick from sleeping in such an awkward position.

"It's time to get up." It's Seonghwa that's woken him. "The car will be here in half an hour."

Just enough time to shower, shave and shove some of whatever Wooyoung is cooking in the kitchen down his throat if he's quick enough. 

Hongjoong looks down at his lap and sees Mingi. He is sleeping, his face slack and his mouth open. 

"I'll get him up." Seonghwa tells him. "You just get yourself sorted." 

It takes some careful maneuvering to get himself out from under Mingi without jolting him awake and too many precious minutes. Hongjoong has to speed through his shower and skip shaving entirely. He shoves on a mask and a hat and packs his electric shaver in his backpack. There'll be time when they get to wherever they're going - he can't even remember - to shave and hair and makeup will take care of the rest.

Wooyoung and Jongho are bickering when Hongjoong finally makes it into the kitchen. There's five minutes before they're supposed to leave and Hongjoong really doesn't have the energy or the time to work out and resolve whatever they're arguing about. He swears they're worse than kids sometimes. 

He inhales the plate of food that Wooyoung sets in front of him and then starts to round everyone up so that they can go down to the car. Only Yunho and Yeosang (his favourites, he swears) have their shoes on and bags ready and San has now gotten involved in whatever argument Jongho and Wooyoung are having. It's a miracle they make it into the car by a quarter past. 

Hongjoong makes sure Mingi takes his pills and has a cereal bar in his general vicinity - he had been nowhere to be found during breakfast - before putting his headphones on and promptly falling asleep. 

It's a long drive to the studio where they're spending their morning so Hongjoong is feeling somewhat refreshed by the time they're piling out of the car. The argument, whatever it was about, is now over and everyone seems to be in a better mood. Hongjoong is thankful- he hates having to try and get in the middle of everyone else's drama.

They spend the next hour going through hair and makeup and then, once they've gotten changed into their outfits for the day, they have another hour with the PD and hosts of the variety show they're filming to discuss what they're going to be doing during filming. There's a small break and then they begin filming. The programme itself is meant to be an hour long but they end up filming for closer to two and a half, playing lots of games and generally acting like fools. It's a lot of hard work but it's fun, too. 

Hongjoong notices Mingi's energy start to dip the closer to the end they get but he doesn't worry about it. For all their arguing earlier, San, Wooyoung and Jongho are in fine form and Yunho and Yeosang are both feeding off of their chaos and egging them on. Hongjoong doesn't doubt that the show will be a lot of fun when it airs the following week, once their new song has dropped. 

Seonghwa catches his eye, though, when they're getting ready to perform their new song to wrap up the recording.

'Mingi.' He mouths. 

There isn't time to do anything before they're being ushered into their places and the music starts. It's a complex and fast paced choreography - when isn't it? - and it's difficult to think about anything but keeping in time and hitting his moves as he's meant to. They're all panting by the time that they're finished. 

"Once more." The PD says.

But Mingi is tugging on his jacket, his expression an odd mixture of alarmed and confused.

"I- I don't feel well." His words are slurred.

Hongjoong has only seen this a couple of times before but he knows what's coming. 

"Can we take a quick break please?" He asks but he doesn't wait for an answer before he's dragging Mingi towards their dressing room, the rest of the members following along like worried ducklings.

They barely make it into the room before Mingi drops.

He hits the floor hard and his limbs immediately start twitching and jerking. Hongjoong is quick to pull off his jacket and stuff it under Mingi's head so he won't bang it on the floor more than he already has. 

There isn't much more that they can do until it ends. Yunho keeps time with his watch and Seonghwa runs his fingers through Mingi's hair. His soft words of comfort are almost drowned out by Mingi's choked gasps for air. 

"I hate this." Wooyoung says. Hongjoong knows without looking that there are tears in his eyes. 

"It'll be over soon." Hongjoong tells him.

It is, even if it feels like a lifetime. 

"Four and a half minutes." Yunho says once Mingi finally stills. 

Hongjoong nods. That's about the standard length of Mingi's seizures from his experience. He knows that anything longer would have meant a trip to the hospital. He prays that's something they never have to do.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa roll Mingi onto his side now the seizure is over and into the recovery position and Yunho grabs some tissues to mop at the blood trailing from his mouth. Mingi's lips quickly begin to lose their blue tint though he remains very pale even after a couple of minutes pass.

Finally, finally his eyes begin to flutter. 

"Get him on to the sofa, I'll go tell the managers what's happened." Hongjoong directs. 

He goes back out to the recording room and pulls their managers aside. They've guessed what's happened so Hongjoong doesn't have too much to explain. They've already discussed wrapping up the show with the PD and the hosts and Hongjoong is grateful that they're so understanding and willing to stand their ground on the group's behalf. He can see the looks that they're being shot by the others and he knows that they're in dangerous territory. He hopes the company will stay as understanding as they are now.

"Will he be okay for the afternoon?" One of the managers asks. 

"I'm not sure, it's taking him a while to come around." Hongjoong knows to be honest about this. Anything less could lead to unnecessary hurt.

"Okay." The other manager nods. "We'll come get you when it's time to leave." 

Hongjoong isn't surprised to find Mingi squished between Seonghwa and Yunho on the sofa when he gets back into the dressing room. Mingi's head is resting on Yunho's shoulder and Wooyoung, who has somehow squeezed himself onto the back of the sofa, his legs tangled around Seonghwa's shoulders, is petting Mingi's hair. Yeosang sits on the sofa arm closest to Yunho, Jongho on the other, and San is on the floor at Mingi's feet. 

It's a sweet picture, Hongjoong thinks, but it would be better if Mingi didn't look like death.

"How is he?" He asks.

"He's still coming around." Seonghwa answers as Mingi pries his eyes open.

"I'm so far." He murmurs, his voice thick. He tries to sit up but he's quickly pushed back into place. "I'll be finale yesterday."

Mingi always does this when he's coming around. It's like the seizure scrambles his brain and he confuses words that have similar sounds or meanings when he tries to speak. 

"I'm sure you will be fine soon." Hongjoong agrees. "But a bit of rest will do you good for the moment. We don't have to leave just yet."

"I'm so far." He says. He scrunches up his face in frustration. "So far. I mean-."

"You better not be trying to say you're sorry." Wooyoung tells him. 

"It happens." Yeosang says. "We understand." 

"Annotated for them." Mingi sniffs. He doesn't cry but his eyes are wet and his bottom lip wobbles. "Annotated for th- for you."

"It's just a part of who you are." Seonghwa murmurs. "We don't love you any less for it and we're definitely not annoyed."

Hongjoong nods. There is so much to love about Mingi - his enthusiasm, his kindness, his simple joy - that all the other things really don't matter. The seizures, the ADHD, the sleeping problems and his issues with his back. They're just small parts of the puzzle that make Mingi into the person he is.

"You're an idiot." Yunho pinches Mingi's cheek. "There are so many other things about you to actually be annoyed about. This doesn't even make the top 100."

Mingi snorts.

Hongjoong dumps himself in Seonghwa's lap and pinches Mingi's other cheek. 

"We're family." He says. 

"We're family." Mingi repeats and his smile is blinding.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written by @kngysng

The dorm is loud this evening, and Hongjoong loves it. Everyone is in high spirits because they finished their schedule in record time today and was able to come home way earlier than they usually do. Not only that, but tomorrow is a  _ free day _ , which is even more rare.

So they're having a mini party. There's music blasting, and Jongho has dug out the PlayStation that's usually stored away in the hall closet, because they never have time to play it. Him, Yunho, Yeosang and San are engrossed in some kind of first person zombie shooting game while Hongjoong and Mingi watch. Wooyoung and Seonghwa are in the kitchen, beginning to prepare dinner. There's a fancy pasta dish Wooyoung has been wanting to try and he's so excited he finally has the time to do so. He assigned Seonghwa the role of sous-chef. 

Next to Hongjoong, tucked under his arm, Mingi stirs. Despite the noise, he's been napping for about twenty minutes and Hongjoong has let him. He knows out of all of them, Mingi probably gets the least amount of sleep. He deserves some extra rest.

But after a particularly loud shout from San, Mingi blinks awake, looking around in a daze before he meets Hongjoong's eyes and smiles. "Hyung," he mumbles, wiping at his sleepy eyes.

Hongjoong feels himself go completely soft. As the leader, he loves each and every one of his members, but Mingi is just extra special. "Had a good nap?" he asks, reaching over and fluffing up Mingi's hair.

Mingi nods. "Is dinner ready yet?" he asks. 

"Not yet. I think they just started."

Mingi groans, and Hongjoong chuckles at him. "I'm hungry," Mingi whines. "I think I'm going to go take a shower while we're waiting." 

Mingi has this thing where he has to "feel clean" before eating dinner, and sometimes that means taking a shower. Hongjoong doesn't completely get it, but he likes that about Mingi. He's full of oddities. "Okay," he says, glancing over at the clock. "By the time you're out it should be time for your evening medicine."

"Okay, I won't let you forget," Mingi says, and they share a laugh because Hongjoong never forgets. He's the one always reminding Mingi, not the other way around.

After Mingi goes off to take his shower, Hongjoong begins to pay more attention to the game going on, especially after San and Jongho begin to bicker over whether or not San was cheating. He has to jump in and scold them, which he always hates doing. Being the leader has its downsides.

Not long after that Yeosang offers Hongjoong his controller because he wants to join the other two in the kitchen. So Hongjoong accepts and plays on San's side, keeping an eye on him to make sure he really isn't cheating. 

Usually Hongjoong isn't that into video games, but this one turns out to be super fun, eventhough he and San are getting crushed by Yunho and Jongho. San blames it on Hongjoong "sucking at the game". Hongjoong has to yank on his ear for being such a brat.

"Dinner's ready!" Wooyoung eventually yells, and the game is instantly abandoned as the four of them jump up and head to the kitchen.

The food smells  _ amazing _ . Not only is there pasta but there's also salad and bread, which has been toasted to an almost black color.

"Yeosang burnt the bread," Wooyoung explains, to which Yeosang says, "No, no, it's just extra crispy."

They all begin to sit down at the table where the food is all spread out, but then Yunho asks, "Where's Mingi?"

Hongjoong's eyes widen. He had completely forgotten about Mingi. "He's in the shower.." he answers, pulling his phone out his pocket to check the time.

He freezes. It's been nearly thirty-five minutes.

Hongjoong quickly jumps up from the table, and makes a beeline towards the bathroom. How has it been thirty-five minutes?! He swears it's only been fifteen, tops. Why hasn't Mingi come out yet? He could just be taking an extra long shower, but surely the hot water would have ran out by now.

Hongjoong can still hear the shower running from behind the door. "Mingi?" he calls, banging on the door. When he gets no response, he tries to go in but it's locked. "Mingi? Mingi!"

"Is he okay?" Seonghwa asks, coming up behind him. The others have followed along, all looking very scared and concerned. 

"I don't know, he isn't answering," Hongjoong tells him. His heart is pounding and his hands are shaking. He tries to push against the door, but it won't budge.

Jongho instantly steps up. "I got it," he says. 

It takes a few tries, but he somehow manages to shove the door free, some bits of wood splintering off along with it but Hongjoong isn't worried about that right now. Without really meaning to, he pushes Jongho to the side and rushes into the bathroom. 

He is met with a terrible sight.

Mingi lays crumpled in the bottom of the shower, violently convulsing. His eyes are rolled back, and there's a ribbon of red running out his mouth. Worst of all, there is blood all in the shower, the water tinged with a sick pink color.

"Mingi!" Hongjoong shouts. He hurries over, and tries his best to roll Mingi into a better position on his side. Someone shoves a towel in his direction and he uses that to cushion Mingi's head. Someone else turns off the shower. Hongjoong isn't able to see who's doing what because his complete attention is on Mingi, who has stopped seizing now. How long did that last? How did no one hear him fall? There's shampoo and body wash bottles all over the place. The music must have been too loud.

Hongjoong's chest tightens painfully at the thought of them all having such a good time, completely oblivious to the fact that Mingi was laid in the shower having a seizure. 

"I've called for an ambulance," Seonghwa says, laying a hand on Hongjoong's shoulder. Hongjoong can hear some sniffling and low sobs coming from a few of the others - probably Wooyoung and Jongho. They're always the most shaken up, and this is especially traumatizing. It's the worst that's ever happened. 

"We should dry him off and try to get something on him," Seonghwa suggests. 

Hongjoong nods, but then Mingi stirs and lets out a small groan. 

"Mingi?" Hongjoong leans closer, gently laying a hand against Mingi's head. Seonghwa has a fresh towel and begins to dry him off as best as he can. "You're okay, Mingi. You're going to be fine."

Mingi whines again, and rapidly blinks a few times. He's ghostly pale and the bright blood on him makes it look even worse. "Hopping," he mumbles. "What hopping."

"You've had a bad seizure," Hongjoong tells him. "But you're okay, I promise."

"Hhhhead," Mingi says, speaking a bit louder but his speech is heavily slurred. "It pain - it hurts."

"I know your head hurts. You're going to go to the hospital and it'll be alright," Hongjoong says, his voice cracking a bit at the end.

Seonghwa pats his shoulder. "Let's try to get him out and decent," he says.

They have to call Yunho in to help gently maneuver Mingi out of the shower and onto the floor. Jongho's strength would be really nice to have again but Hongjoong doesn't want to subject him to more trauma. Yunho is cool and calm, though Hongjoong notices the way his fingers shake as he helps slide a t-shirt and sweatpants onto Mingi.

The ambulance gets there shortly after. It feels very surreal to watch them lift Mingi, who has fallen unconscious again, onto a stretcher. It's scary, and Hongjoong is grateful that Seonghwa made the others go into one of the bedrooms so they wouldn't have to see it. He's being an amazing help right now. Hongjoong knows as the leader it should be his job, but all he is worried about right now is Mingi.

He gets to ride in the ambulance with him. They check his vitals and they're all good except for his blood pressure which is low. Not dangerously so, but still a concern. The split in his head isn't too deep, and they predict that other than having a bad concussion, he'll be fine. It helps calm Hongjoong a little bit. But he won't completely believe Mingi is okay until he sees it himself.

As soon as they get to the hospital, they whisk Mingi away for testing. Hongjoong sits in an uncomfortable plastic chair in the waiting room and presses his palms against his eyes, trying his best not to cry.

Is this his fault?

How could he let time slip by him and forget about Mingi, forget about his medication? Hongjoong usually does so well, even if he forgets a hundred other things, he never forgets Mingi.  _ Never _ . He swore to himself a couple of years ago, after witnessing one of Mingi's seizures for the first time that he'd do his absolute best to keep him safe. 

He feels like he's failed him. 

It feels like Hongjoong sits there for an eternity. He gets a text message from one of their managers saying he'll be right over as soon as possible, but that the other members will be staying at the dorm for now. They don't want to make a scene or crowd the hospital. Hongjoong understands, but it makes him even sadder. He feels too alone right now. 

_ Finally _ , a nurse comes and tells him Mingi is finished with testing and that he's ready to see Hongjoong, who jumps up. 

She leads him down a few corridors to a room. Hongjoong is nervous as he walks in, but a wave of relief washes over him when he sees Mingi sitting up in bed and drinking water out of a cup with the help of another nurse. He's still pale and there's a bandage on his head, but he's  _ awake _ !

His eyes light up when he notices Hongjoong. "Hyung!" he says. 

Hongjoong smiles, sitting down in the chair next to Mingi's bed. He takes Mingi's hand into his and gives it a gentle squeeze. "How are you feeling? Did your tests go okay?"

The nurse explains that, while they're still waiting to look at more in depth results, everything looks fine so far, other than the concussion. She says Mingi is very fortunate to not have suffered worse. 

She leaves after that, promising to come back with some dinner, because Mingi can't stop repeating how  _ hungry _ he is. It makes Hongjoong beam at him from how endearing he is.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Mingi," Hongjoong says. "I'm sorry, I lost track of time. I didn't mean to. I promise, it won't happen aga-"

"Hongjoong hyung," Mingi interrupts. "It's fine, it's no big deal. Things happen." He shrugs.

" _ No big deal? _ " Hongjoong repeats. "Mingi, this is your life. What if it had been worse, you could have…" Hongjoong can't bring himself to say it, because the thought is unbearable.

"But it wasn't, and I didn't." Mingi smiles. "I already feel bad for putting everyone through this, so please, hyung." 

"You shouldn't feel bad," Hongjoong tells him, but he understands. He decides to sit his own feelings aside for now because there'll be plenty of time to discuss it all later, with the others, as a family. "Should we call them?"

Mingi's face lights up again, so Hongjoong pulls out his phone and dials Seonghwa's number and puts it on speaker. Seonghwa answers before the very first ring even ends.

"Hi, Seonghwa hyung!" Mingi says. 

"Mingi!" The relief in his voice is clear. "How are you doing? Are you okay?"

In the background, there's a bunch of commotion and excitement from everyone else. Seonghwa puts his phone on speaker as well and they take turns talking to Mingi, each member making sure to hear his voice and that he is really and truly okay.

It makes Hongjoong feel very warm, to know just how loved Mingi is.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! comments are appreciated 😊


End file.
